Archive for December, 2010
“Marriage is one long conversation, checkered with disputes.” (Robert Louis Stevenson) How long has your longest argument lasted? An hour? A day? A week? What finally brought you out of it? Learn from it so the next one can be shorter.
How did your parents resolve conflicts? Did they yell and scream? Did they compromise, give each other the silent treatment, or separate in order to cool off? Did you bring any of these habits into your current marriage? How did your spouse’s parents fight? What works for the two of you?
From Letter to Families from Pope John Paul II for 1994 – Year of the Family The indissolubility of marriage flows in the first place from the very essence of that gift: the gift of one person to another person.
From Letter to Families from Pope John Paul II for 1994 – Year of the Family To love means to give and receive something which can neither be bought nor sold, but only given freely and mutually.
Let go of the remote control! In fact, let go of control and power in your marriage. It’s hard to let go of being right or having it your way but your relationship will be stronger if you share.
“They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.” (Diane Sollee, www.smartmarriages.com) Become part of the marriage movement and help create a healthier society.
From On Anthropological Foundation of the Family Address of Pope Benedict XVI at the Ecclesial Congress of the Diocese of Rome The vocation to love is what makes [us] the authentic image of God: We become like God in the measure that we become like someone who loves.
From Follow the Way of Love There is no shame in seeking help for family problems, whether it be in the form of counseling, educational programs, or support groups.
“[Love] is not jealous.” (1 Cor. 13:4) Sometimes spouses can resent their partner’s good fortune. Maybe she beat you at cards or he beat you at tennis. Maybe he’s getting lots of support and admiration at work and you’re not. Let it go.
Is marriage becoming obsolete? That’s how some newspaper headlines characterized new research from the Pew Center. The reality is more complicated; in fact, most Americans say they hope to marry at some point. Is the glass half full or half empty?
From Follow the Way of Love Families: join with other families in communities of mutual support.
St. Nicholas is known as a “secret gift giver.” In marriage there are good secrets (like the flowers you sent your wife from a “secret admirer”) and bad secrets (overspending, overdrinking, and affairs). Maximize the good secrets; come clean on the bad secrets.
From Follow the Way of Love Your children… need the example of adults whose behavior demonstrates their caring. Put your children first in making decisions about family life.
Traditionally, parents fill their children’s shoes with treats on St. Nick’s eve. Try walking in your spouse’s shoes for an evening and understand life from his or her perspective. Consider exchanging roles for the evening.
From Follow the Way of Love Married couples: the grace of the sacrament and the spiritual power of your vows are available to you daily.
“I didn’t marry you because you were perfect…I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage.” (Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth)
Sarah reflects on being “settled down.”
From Follow the Way of Love Give witness to your belief in God’s mercy as you move toward reconciliation both with your family and with the Church.
Most things couples argue about are not worth it. Many of our opinions about the right way to hang Christmas ornaments, cook a turkey, or plan a vacation come from our families of origin. Let go of the past. Create a new future.
Are you or someone you know dealing with the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship? Or perhaps you’ve had a job loss or a serious health problem. These losses need to be grieved, but grieving during the holidays can be especially difficult. Here are ten tips that can help you to heal.
The author, a clinical psychologist and father of 10 adopted children, offers “straight answers to heartfelt questions” on a wide range of adoption-related issues.
Birds nest with their own kind, and fidelity comes to those who live by it. Sirach 27:9
While parents get great joy out of creating a magical Christmas for their children, it can also create great stress. Your children will appreciate Christmas more if brought to them by calm and centered parents.
Josh reflects on the rhythm of family life and the regular activities that keep members connected to each other.
Are you financially comfortable? Good. Now give some of it away. If you own more than one set of clothes then you’re richer than most of the earth’s population. Your marriage and your souls will be stronger for it.