News And Views
Two to Tango
A Love Letter to My Beloved
By Kathleen Billings
In marriage, we each have our own unique love story that God continues to write – a story that is exquisite, a story that has God’s love and mercy woven all through it. As God continues to write your story, it is good to reflect on where He has brought you and your spouse to, and what He has brought you through. In honor of your love story and as a way to hopefully inspire you to go deeper in your love for God and each other, I thought I would share with you a sample “Love Letter” from one Christian spouse to another. The art of writing a good old-fashioned love letter may have faded, but the spirit of writing one should still be very much alive in our hearts and lived in our lives.
I am writing this letter as a token of my love for you, as a keepsake for you to treasure, and as a reminder of my commitment to us and to our life together. I want you to know that I love you, ALL OF YOU, and I always will. I am committed to our marriage until death do us part. At times, in moments of deep frustration, I may have questioned otherwise, but that was my immature way of seeking love from you when I should have been looking for God, not you, to fill the void in my temporarily wandering heart. Beloved, I know I have hurt you countless times with my words and actions and for all them – I sincerely and humbly ask for your forgiveness. Since God made my heart to fit with yours in our Sacrament of Marriage, I long for you even when my heart is broken, even when I feel so hurt by your actions or lack thereof that my heart feels frozen – I still long for you. I have pondered this many times and I have come to realize that it is what God truly desires – this longing. It keeps bringing me back to my knees in prayer to pray for us. Two become one and when that oneness feels broken, I have two choices –
1. Run from the pain and bury myself in work, pleasure, distractions or 2. Lean into the pain and allow myself to feel it, creating a longing in my heart for God to bring healing to the brokenness so our marriage can continue to be made holy the way God intends. Sadly, I think many couples choose option number one. On the outside they are still married, but the connection internally is lost. This is when the temptations of the world can move in at an alarming rate, because we all long for love. When authentic love is not being exchanged with your spouse, it is only a matter of time before you begin to look for “love in all the wrong places.” Eventually the marriage completely crumbles or spouses just live together for the sake of convenience. My beloved, I keep choosing number two because I love God and I truly love you! I see such goodness in you and I also see the potential for greatness! I want more than anything to have a holy marriage and family life. I AM WILLING TO FIGHT FOR IT.
Sometimes I feel like our love for one another gets buried amidst the daily stresses of life. Trying to balance everything: prayer, family time, our time, work, caring for the children, exercise and other commitments is so challenging! There is no one else I would rather balance life with though, than you! We are a team and you are the best partner I could ask for. God blessed me abundantly with you! When our love starts to get buried, please know, with God’s grace, I will fight to uncover it and allow God to breathe life back into it. He gave us the gift of each other and our life together is a daily unwrapping of His present to both of us.
I know at times trust between us has been tested; good, heartfelt communication has been challenging; promises we made have been broken and overall new baggage has been formed. We are human and our sinful nature is in constant need of God’s mercy. OUR MARRIAGE is in constant need of His mercy. The amazing thing is that God’s love and mercy makes all things new! My beloved, I want you to know that with this love letter, I today renew my commitment to loving God first so I can more wholly love you with His love pouring forth from my heart into yours. God’s love can heal our baggage, old and new.
As we both grow closer to God, we are able to see ourselves more clearly – all of our strengths and weaknesses. We both have faults that challenge each other, but our marriage grows in holiness when we actively seek God at our weakest points and beg Him to be there so we can freely love one another the way He wants and freely receive love from one another the way that He desires. I know God has such a special and unique plan for our marriage and it is exciting to watch that unfold!
Thank you for all of the sacrifices you have made and continue to make for us. I am always reminded when I see you working so hard that sacrifice means “to make holy.” Your daily sacrifices for me and for our family do not go unnoticed. In fact, in a mystical way, it is deeply attractive because I see Christ working through you in a powerful way as you serve our marriage and family.
Truly, our life together is beautiful. It has been shaped and formed through all that God has allowed us to experience together as a couple. It is us – in good and in bad, in sickness and in health, in rich and in poor – beauty woven throughout it all – that makes this journey amazing! I look forward to all that lies ahead. Please know that my heart is yours forever in God’s love.
Your Spouse in Christ,