Learning To Say I Do
Back in the Saddle
Sara: For weeks, I’ve been dreading my inevitable return to work. It’s not that I don’t like my job, it’s just I didn’t want to leave Gus.
To further complicate things, Justin had an out of state workshop scheduled for three days which unfortunately managed to fall the same week as my first week of work.
Sunday night, I didn’t sleep much. It was similar to the night before the first day of school, where all sorts of weird scenarios ran through my head about what would occur. Would I wake up in time? How many times would Gus wake up in the middle of the night? Would Gus like his babysitter? How would Gus eat and sleep during daycare?
Thankfully, Justin dropped Gus off at daycare on Monday, so all I had to do was tell Gus goodbye before I left.
Justin: I think it would have been a lot harder for Sara if she actually had to drop Gus off. I was surprised at the surge of emotions that ran through me as I left Gus at daycare and headed into work.
Sara: Since Gus was still sleeping, leaving wasn’t as emotional as it could have been. When I got to work, I was busy catching up with my email, cleaning off my desk (I had a pile of mail 10 inches high), and determining what needed to be done first to catch up.
Monday, I was glad to get home and see Gus. Gus was very excited to see me, and promptly decided it was time to nurse. So for several hours, Gus and I sat together in our nursing chair and became reacquainted. He hadn’t eaten much at daycare, so I’m sure he needed both the food and the comfort.
Tuesday was pretty uneventful, but Justin left for his trip on Wednesday. We were both very anxious about how I would handle being back at work and being a “single mom” for the rest of the week. Thankfully, we did a great job of planning meals and making other arrangements to make the week go as smoothly as possible.
As the week went on, it became easier to leave Gus and head to work. He seemed to enjoy daycare more as well, taking longer naps and eating more throughout the day. On Halloween, Gus and I planned to head to the mall to go trick or treating, but Gus was too hungry to leave. Finally, after two and a half hours of nursing, I decided it was time for me to eat as well. Gus seemed upset that I put him down, but it couldn’t be helped. Finally, around 9 pm, Gus fell asleep on my lap so I put him down for bed. I fully expected Gus to wake up in a few hours, but he slept all the way through the night, as he did for the next two nights in Justin’s absence. It must have been my guardian angel helping out.
As the week went on, I realized how much I enjoyed being back at work. Before Gus was born, I was burnt out from too much time spent at work without a vacation. I didn’t have a good work and home life balance – even when I was at home, I’d be checking my email several times to make sure nothing urgent came up.
This week taught me that it’s important to be truly present wherever I’m at. If I’m at work, I need to be concentrating on work. When I’m at home, it’s important to be concentrating on my family.
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