Finding Peace Amidst the Chaos
Sara: When I first learned I was pregnant, I started to read mommy blogs on the internet to get a glance of what life might one day look like in our household. Many times, I was surprised to hear the crazy things that happened in their lives in the span of only a few days, and I’ve wondered if perhaps these items weren’t “slightly exaggerated” in order to make a better story. I have always hoped so, because I not sure if I could handle the chaos!
This week, Gus got his first runny nose, and for the first two days, cried whenever his nose ran. If it wouldn’t have been so annoying, it would have been hilarious to see my normally mild-mannered son so frustrated over something as simple as a runny nose! Later in the week, I accidently dumped a nearly full glass of water on my laptop, our dishwasher broke, and Gus decided he is too old for naps.
I’d like to say I handled everything gracefully, but I know I took some of my frustrations out on Justin. On one particularly challenging evening, Justin suggested I leave the house for a little while and go to the Perpetual Adoration Chapel just a few miles from our house. I think that was his nice way of telling me to get an attitude adjustment!
After feeding Gus, I packed up and left. Although I was probably only in the chapel for thirty minutes, it was amazing how much peace that time gave me. Especially since Gus has begun standing up, Mass has become less than prayerful as we try to wrangle him into some semblance of a state that won’t distract our fellow parishioners TOO much. While we do pray together each and every night as a family, many times I find myself pushing my personal prayer time to the back burner as I juggle caring for the house, Gus’ needs, and my other duties. Even as a stay-at-home mom, it’s not easy to get everything done.
As a result of that time in the chapel, I realized that I do need to make the time both to pray and to have time just as a wife and just as a person. Before taking the time to go out and pray by myself, I’m honestly not sure the last time before then that I had left the house without Gus. And as frustrated as I was with Gus when I left, I realized as I headed home that I had missed him. I came home with a renewed wonder and was ready to apologize to Justin for my short-temper and was ready to enjoy the opportunity to spend time with my husband and son.
Perhaps God uses the runny noses, broken dishwashers, and the lack of naps to remind me that I am not superwoman. I need God – and God’s grace – to help me make it through each and every day. When I truly make it a priority to lean on God, he is waiting with outstretched arms to help me get closer to holiness.