Skip to content
For Your Marriage

Meet Sara and Justin. They married in June 2011, they welcomed their first child in August 2012.

I Told You So!

Sara: Sometimes (okay, most of the time), I enjoy being “right.” And even if I don’t say those beloved four words: “I told you so,” many times Justin knows exactly what I am thinking.

When we bought the ticket for Justin to see his family in North Dakota for ten days, I had no idea how difficult it would be for him to be gone for that long – especially when I was (and still am) pregnant and emotional, closing on a house in less than thirty days, and packing up all of our belongings. Honestly, there were several moments where I didn’t handle the situation or the stress very well at all.

It was also difficult for me because Justin was off having “fun” as I continued to work full-time, pack our apartment, and deal with some of the stressors of purchasing our first home without him physically by my side. When we spoke on the phone, it was difficult to know the fine line between “reminding” him to take care of some items and “nagging” him until they were done.

One of the few forgotten items was purchasing a home warranty for our house. Since neither of us has ever had the upkeep and maintenance of a home, I felt it was a great investment simply for our peace of mind for the first year. Justin was a bit more leery, but ultimately we decided together it was the correct decision for our current situation. We can reevaluate next year to determine if we want to renew.

After several days living in our new home, Justin noticed some water spots in our garage. After further investigation, we determined one of the pipes had a slow leak. Because of the timing of when our payment cleared to the home warranty company, we were uncertain if this normally covered event would be looked upon with suspicion, even though we had contacted the home warranty company before we closed on the house and paid for the warranty before we discovered the leak.

After we found the leak, Justin was angry that we hadn’t been living in our house for a week and there were already some issues. He felt we had bought a money pit.

I had expected some maintenance issues in a twenty year old house, and so I wasn’t as surprised. However, I did have the horrible “I told you so” attitude. I felt if Justin had only put the home warranty in place when I had asked him (several days after our offer was accepted on the house), this wouldn’t have been an issue. In my mind, the whole problem and all the stress in the situation was Justin’s fault. Now, I was “kind” enough not to specifically say that, but Justin could still tell by my attitude I felt it was “all his fault.” I was also frustrated because after a long day at work, Justin didn’t even let me get inside the house before he began to tell me about all the problems, which is something I have had to work hard not to do to Justin.

Several hours later, (and a lot of snapping and anger from each other), Justin called me on my behavior. I realized that just because I didn’t say those four words, my attitude still affected Justin and the way he interacted with me. In the future, I need to look for that poisonous behavior as it begins. Justin, I’m sorry I was impatient and for my bad attitude!