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For Your Marriage

Megan and Rijo met in 2014, got engaged the summer of 2017, and will be married mid-2018. Here they share their experience of marriage preparation, wedding planning, and growing together as a Catholic engaged couple.

“Jesus, I Trust in You!”

One of the great benefits of working for the Church is that I am constantly coming across things that call me to convert from my own limited perspective and see things with the eyes of faith. Last week, God called me to that through Pope Francis. One thing I love about our pope is that he writes with a simplicity that makes me feel like he’s talking to me over his morning coffee. Case in point, in his recent Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia the pope says the following to engaged couples:

“Short-term preparations for marriage tend to be concentrated on invitations, clothes, the party, and any number of other details that tend to drain not only the budget but energy and joy as well.”

I wonder if Pope Francis was secretly listening in on my phone call to my best friend last week.

The Pope goes on to say: “Have the courage to be different. Don’t let yourselves get swallowed up by a society of consumption and empty appearances.”

Ok, Pope Francis, but what if I am that person? How can I focus on what is truly important leading up to our wedding day?

As I write this post, we are less than three weeks away from our wedding day. I could lie to you and say that these last weeks have been filled by hours in the Adoration chapel, regular dates with Rijo and zero attention to “clothes, the party and other details”…but I won’t. The home stretch leading up to the much anticipated big day has been inundated with countless “to-dos.” If you’re a bride-to-be reading this, I’m sure you can relate.

This seems to be the unavoidable reality of this season of life, but the question still remains: how can I be different and challenge the tidal wave of activity that threatens to take away my peace day after day?

Pope Francis says, “Have the courage to be different.” Jesus repeats over and over: “Be not afraid.” The Bible references the need to let go of fear and trust in God 365 times. That’s one time for every day of the year. Every. Single. Day. In every time and every season.

So the real question I have to ask myself today isn’t “why is this happening to me?” or “why am I feeling overwhelmed?” Rather the question is: “What is the concrete way that the Lord is calling me to trust in him and surrender my fear over to His love, goodness and grace?”

Lord, how can I have the courage to trust You more today?

I’ve come to know many other engaged Catholic women during this time. As I was writing this post, I reached out to them asking concrete ways in which they are being called to trust more and I was amazed by the responses! After praying through their heartfelt prayers, I collected them and wrote a “Litany of Trust for Engaged Women.” I’ll be praying this in these next few weeks to continue to surrender my heart to the Lord.

A Litany of Trust for Engaged Women

Jesus Christ, whose first miracle was to bless the married couple at Cana, I trust in You!

From the disbelief that I am lovable, beautiful and desirable to God and my future husband,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From impatience with my own weaknesses and the weaknesses of my future husband,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the wounds of divorce, infidelity, abuse, or abandonment that have affected the way I give and receive love today,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the temptation to compare my engagement and upcoming wedding to others’,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of our love growing cold in the future, giving way to resentment and bitterness,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire for a seemingly perfect wedding day,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of failure as a wife and mother,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From needless anxiety over the financial burdens in our future marriage and family,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of future sufferings, illnesses, and the unknown challenges of life,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From any temptation that would lead me to love my spouse in a selfish way,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From distrust in Your love and mercy, especially when I feel weak or insufficient,
Deliver me, Jesus.

That Your own love, completely given to us on the cross, will uphold and sustain our marriage,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You desire my happiness and wish to bestow Your divine love upon me through the sacrament of marriage,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You will give me all the graces to be faithful to my husband for the rest of my life,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You will heal me from any wounds from my past that bind my heart,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You are present in all the little details of wedding planning, engagement, and daily life,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You have called me to the vocation of marriage and will always be faithful to me with Your support and Providence,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That Your grace can heal all forms of division and mistrust in our family and extended families,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You will give us the grace to love each other with purity in this time of engagement and throughout our married life,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You will provide good holy models and mentors for me and my future husband along the journey,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That You will provide the graces I need to love, support, and educate our future children,
Jesus, I trust in You.

That Your boundless mercy will be there for us every time we fail to love perfectly,
Jesus, I trust in You.

Lord, You have instituted this Sacrament and have called us to be partakers in it. Help us to live it out faithfully in accordance with Your will and the abundant graces You so lovingly provide. Amen.