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For Your Marriage

Timothy and Donna have been married for over fifteen years after meeting in the gambling tent while volunteering at their parish carnival.

Marrying Up

There is often an unstated question at some weddings. No, it’s not: I wonder if their firstborn will be a nine pound “premature” baby? The question I’m referring to is – who “married up”? I always insist that I was the one who married up. Donna, confirming my opinion, graciously suggests it was she who was elevated by our union. You know, now that I think about it, she’s right. Though, I hastily should add – so was I!

He’s right, we both married up. I hate when people say, in all seriousness, “he really married up when he married me.” Either she thinks too highly of herself or too little of the man she married. Neither of those are good options. I know that the person I married sixteen years ago is one that wants all that is good, true, and beautiful for me. Tim tries to set a good example for me and I try to do the same for him.

I designed Donna’s engagement ring which I placed on her finger in St. Peter’s Basilica during our pilgrimage to Italy. It wasn’t a complicated or expensive design, but it was rich in symbolism. With the help of a friend who is a jeweler, an indispensable asset to the aspiring groom, I chose a crystal-clear center diamond. This stone represents the third person who should be invited into every marriage – God.

We placed triangular stones on either side of this center diamond. These two diamonds stand for us as husband and wife. An apex of each triangle points to the center stone. This reminds us that the closer we each move toward God, the closer we will be to each other.

A husband and wife can both claim to have married up when God is given the first place in their marriage.