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For Your Marriage

Meet Sara and Justin. They married in June 2011, they welcomed their first child in August 2012.

Our Most Memorable Wedding Present (So Far)

As we’re less than a month away from our big day, the presents are beginning to trickle in. One of the most memorable, I received from one of the ladies of the parish I work at – two waterguns.

“Pam” explained via poem the secret to marriage is to “fill your home with laughter. It’s then the little trials you face will make the load seem lighter.”

I’ve learned these past eight months that it’s important to play, pray, and be serious together. Sometimes, the playful moments can get us through the hard times, such as sick family members, stressful work situations, and the moving process.

We’ve also sought throughout our engagement process to be content with exactly where we are during that very moment. God knows our hearts and knows what we need better than we can determine.

One of the best “marriage” preparation tools we had was the lead couple in our marriage preparation process. This couple helped clarify how to make the everyday nitty-gritty details of daily life work – from finances, to communication, to Natural Family Planning, to our spiritual lives. Because this couple wasn’t either of our parents, we were both able to open up more fully than what we could have otherwise. It was a great blessing to hear how they managed to live their lives, raise their children, and still live to talk about it. Some of the stories they told exemplified how much they sacrificed for their family.

The marriage preparation process has taught me that sacrifice is at the heart of marriage, and it’s important to pick the battles and the things we fight about. For instance, Justin thinks the worst part of laundry is sorting it. He’s requested we have two separate bins for lights and darks for us to simply throw our laundry in the proper basket. Since that’s not high on my priority list, that’s a battle I’m not going to fight. Likewise, Justin hasn’t argued too much about how I want to arrange the kitchen. (Perhaps he thinks I’ll cook more if I get to arrange the kitchen!)

While I understand fights are a “normal” portion of any marriage, I hope we’ve learned to fight fair. Hopefully, we won’t need those waterguns anytime soon.