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For Your Marriage

Sarah married her best friend Daniel in 2009. Each month she shares about their life filled with faith and family.

Premarital Stress

Everybody gets stressed. I’ve always heard about how stressful wedding planning is for most people to begin with, but for us planning the wedding itself actually hasn’t been too bad– yet. It’s everything else that’s getting to us.

We graduated on May 11. On May 27 we both started work on the same day, at the jobs that we had lined up since early April. Back in March, we had “stumbled across” our dream property, located less than ten minutes from my family’s house. It was a mobile home on a permanent foundation on two acres of land overlooking a pond, and it was the perfect place for us to build a new home a few years down the road. We made an offer (the first of a few) the day after graduation, and became homeowners on July 31st.One of my roommates from college (Caroline, whom I’ve mentioned before) moved in with me. She and I also work together, and commute together—an hour and a half each way.

We have done a lot to fix up the house—and by “we” I mean mostly Daniel. My parents have also helped tons since they have a lot of experience (understatement) with home improvement projects. Walls have been ripped out, floors have been replaced, and one of our bathrooms has been completely redone. We’re getting all our windows replaced within the next couple of weeks; we already bought them and they’re waiting in the shed for now. It’s a work in progress, so Caroline and I are currently living in somewhat of a construction zone with unpacked boxes and piles of stuff everywhere.

Meanwhile, until the wedding Daniel is still living at his parents’ house, which is about 45 minutes away. He visits on the weekends. We work on the house and he studies—oh right, that’s another thing. Daniel just started grad school, so he’s taking four night classes this semester while working full time. All of this while planning a wedding. I’m sure you can imagine all the silly little fights all this can lead to…

That’s the gist of it. You might think we’re crazy for doing all of this at once, or maybe you don’t actually think our load is too bad. Maybe you’ve been through more. I think it’s safe to say that we’re working pretty hard to do everything we have to do, but sometimes it’s hard to make sure we have time to relax and have fun together, which is obviously pretty important when preparing for marriage (and of course within marriage), right? We’re banking on the fact that Daniel will be finished with grad school one year after we’re married, and by then other things will have settled down. Hopefully. We’re doing what we can, and honestly, most of the time it’s not so bad. We always have some time to relax, and we make sure to pray together every night, even if it’s over the phone. Other advice on how to hold everything together, anyone?