Archive for ‘What Makes Marriage Work’
During my year studying Interpersonal Communications, I was introduced to the work of one of the top researchers in marriage and relationship health, Dr. John M. Gottman. Throughout my post college years, I have kept up with his research. He is most famous for developing a formula that accurately predicts divorce after observing a couple interact with one another […]
People tell me that they are not good at talking on the phone or face to face and so resort to texting. My question is, “What would you have done before cell phones?” Well, they would have developed their communicate skills and overcome their inability. But that is not the case today. Unfortunately, it’s far […]
The Advent season this year begins Sunday, November 30th. How does your family celebrate Advent? Here is a list of time-honored traditions to prepare your hearts and home for the coming of the Christ Child.
Stations of the Cross is a revered Lenten tradition. Parish DRE Daniel Allen reflects on the Stations in light of the vocation of marriage and the realities of family life.
“I love my husband…I just don’t like him.” That’s a commonly-heard phrase in couples mediation, says Laurie Puhn, author of the book Fight Less, Love More and the new marriage enrichment course based on the book. Read Laurie’s advice on how to foster love in the midst of daily life and misunderstandings.
How many times have you heard the suggestion to pray together as a couple? But how do you actually going about doing something that can seem strange and awkward, at least at first? Here are some practical tips.
A lack of common values can be a deal-breaker in a marriage. How close are you and your spouse, or fiance(e), on basic marriage values? Try this short exercise.
Do you and your spouse seem to have the same arguments? A best-selling author identifies the top five arguments that occur in every family and shows how to stop them.
Anger management experts often advise couples to try to move from “unhealthy” to “healthy” anger. Dr. David Sanderlin points out that “healthy anger” is not all it’s cracked up to be. He shows how couples can grow towards a Christ-like, anger-free marital love.
The recent royal wedding has prompted many people to wonder: What makes for a happy,enduring marriage? It’s not just luck! Read what social science research has discovered.
(From “Thriving Marriages” by John Yzaguirre, Ph.D., and Claire Frazier-Yzaguirre, M.Div., M.F.T, New City Press, 2004. http://www.thrivingfamilies.com/) It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted or just putting up with each other. One husband described this bluntly: “When I get home my dog is the only one who seems excited to […]
The holiday season is back. With family gatherings, high expectations and the pressure to make everyone happy, December can be the most stressful month of the year. How can couples keep their cool and make sure their marriage stays strong and that children see them at their best?
Couples often find it easy to slide into conflict, but not so easy to forgive and reconcile with each other. How can spouses learn to forgive and move beyond the hurts caused by conflict? Here are seven “forgiveness fundamentals” that will help you to get started.
Why do some marriages–even long-term marriages–fail, while others grow and flourish? Marriage expert Susan Vogt offers some ideas for helping your marriage to thrive.
It certainly is painful when something important, indeed something core to one’s being like faith, is not shared by your spouse. It is difficult enough when a spouse belongs to a different faith tradition, but even more so when he or she not only rejects organized religion, but also does not seem to value a spiritual life.
Pam is an active Catholic attending Mass every Sunday, while Joe comes from a “Christmas, Easter, and funerals” family. They are both Catholics, but theirs is also a mixed religion marriage. Although they were both baptized in the same faith tradition, they are coming to realize that the similarity of their religious practice ends there.
Some couples say that they strongly believe that God intended them to be together; even that God had a hand in their coming together. For our marriage, it seems that God is like the air that surrounds us. God sustains us even though much of the day we take that presence for granted.
While listening takes as much skill as talking and it’s just as big a part of communicating, it’s something most of us have not been well schooled to do. We were taught something about trying to make ourselves understood when communicating, but nothing about opening ourselves to receiving messages from others with as little judgment as possible.
We have only been married a short time, and things are going pretty well between us, but something that concerns me is that we don’t really solve problems. One of us raises an issue, we talk about it a little, and then we let it drop. What worries me is that eventually, when we have a real problem we can’t avoid, we won’t know how to deal with it. Are there any strategies for a couple like us to use?
When you’ve had a falling out or feel distance between you, how do you come back together and reconcile? The following might help.
They say that when a man marries a woman, he thinks, “She’s the one I’ve been waiting for. She’ll never change.” – and she always does. And a woman looks at her man, and thinks, “He just needs a little work; after we’re married, I’ll help him change” – and he never does.
Having a successful marriage means learning some skills that differ from the skills you need for most other pieces of life. You are in the business of building, maintaining, and protecting a relationship.