Archive for ‘tips and advice’
(Reader’s Tip): Only do those things that will be good for the other. This has given us a better outlook. We think more before we do something.
Strong marriages can have problems, but the healthy married couple is committed to working through them and finding help when faced with problems they can’t solve alone. Seeking counsel is a sign of strength.
“Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) Marriage is not always easy. In order to succeed, place Christ at the center of your marriage. With him at the center, you will be able to withstand any trials that you may face […]
“As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” (John 13:34) Ponder the way Jesus loved—self-sacrificing, unconditionally, like a shepherd, forgiving–and choose one element to lavish upon your beloved today.
May is Mary’s month. Do you have an image of Our Lady in your home? It can be a good reminder to ask for her intercession throughout the day.
(Reader’s Tip) Spend time together talking, listening, praying, laughing, being playful and reconnecting. Make that time for each other.
Have a home date tonight or this weekend. If you have kids, put them to bed early. Dinner can be simple but might include candlelight, soft music, wine or chocolate. After dinner, light more candles, look through your wedding album, play, and reminisce.
Is all this coming and going, scrimping and saving, cooking and cleaning, arguing and compromising worth it? The balancing act you refine now, with God’s grace, will give you wisdom for future challenges. Look at it as training and rely on the Lord, entrusting your efforts to Him.
(Reader’s Tip) Always think loving thoughts. Never let the devil creep in with negative talk.
“Beloved, we are God’s children now.” (1 Jn 3:2) Young or old, we are always God’s children, His beloved sons and daughters. Because He loved us first, we can love others. Ask Him today for the grace to love your spouse and children.
Some arguments just aren’t worth fighting. If you and your beloved have an ongoing disagreement, consider whether it’s time to forgive and let this one go.
As you and your spouse improve your conflict resolution skills, it sets the tone for the next generation. If you have children, don’t hide your minor conflicts from them. Let them see that you can disagree, work it out, and then reconcile.
(Especially for empty nesters) Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday that…(Fill in the blank.) Your children may be adults, but you can still worry. Take the worry to God in prayer.
(Especially for parents of teens) You’re seldom right (in your teenager’s eyes). Stay tight with your spouse because you need each other to discern when to be flexible and when to hang tough. Remind each other you’re not crazy.
(Especially for newlyweds) The early years are usually full of adjustments and new traditions. Are there any customs from your families of origin (such as how you celebrate holidays or how you vacation) that you need to discuss, and find compromises?
With so many responsibilities – caring for your family, work, tending to the house, etc. – there are many things to worry and stress about. Entrust them to God and find peace; He will deliver you.
(Reader’s Tip) Wake up each morning vowing to make the decision to love your spouse no matter what. When you feel anger or negativity, look at your spouse and remember your decision to love.
Sometimes married couples feel they have to fish for compliments or for those magic words, “I love you.” Can you be the first to say them to your beloved today? If you missed being first, try being the last.
How can you support your spouse or child if they want to change a bad habit? Say or write the goal out loud as a start. Join them in the process. Help them set a reward and consequence. Don’t rescue, but be there to comfort if they don’t succeed – yet!
(Reader’s Tip) It’s important to remember your priorities in your marriage. Never sweat the small things that may get on your nerves about your spouse.
Remember your first real date? Can you recreate it in some way this week – go to the same place? Watch the same movie? At the least, reminisce together.
True love goes much deeper than physical attraction, but there is also a physical dimension to feeling loved. Share what you find especially attractive about your beloved’s appearance.
The peace Jesus promises us often comes through forgiving your spouse when he or she hurts you. Is there something you’re finding hard to forgive? Take it to Jesus in prayer, and ask for His peace.
Is there an older married couple whom you admire? What one or two things have you learned from them?
Are you a “Doubting Thomas?” Sometimes we doubt our beloved’s good intentions; sometimes we doubt our ability to live up to our commitments. Trust takes time, forgiveness and trying again.