Archive for ‘tips and advice’
“Live not as foolish persons but as wise.” (Eph 5:15) Who is the wisest (not smartest) living person you know? What has he/she taught you about true wisdom?
Time Out Part 4: After taking a time out, come back together, now with calmer emotions. If another time out is needed, take it! But don’t avoid the issue indefinitely.
Time Out Part 3: Did you know that physiologically it takes 20 minutes to calm down after getting upset? Time outs give your spouse a chance to “re-set” and be their true, better self.
Time Out Part 2: Call a timeout on yourself when you feel yourself getting agitated. Take 20 minutes to do something calming: pray, breathe deeply, walk. Stepping away is an act of love.
Time Out Part 1: Ever shaken a can of soda and then opened it? Pretty messy! Emotions can be like that. Once riled up, we’re liable to say or do something “messy.” One solution: take a time out.
“But the woman came and did him homage, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ (Mt 15:25) Have the humility to come to God when you are struggling with problems in your family and life.
When all else fails, WAIT. When things aren’t going well in your marriage – and there are bound to be those days – give it time. Sometimes we need to just have some time alone, cool off, sleep on it and then come back with more positive feelings.
We celebrate the Assumption today, a Marian Solemnity. It is a great day to pray a family rosary. Have a special dessert too, in honor of our Blessed Mother.
St. Maximilian Kolbe made the ultimate sacrifice, giving up his life for a fellow prisoner in Auschwitz. Marriage gives us daily opportunities for sacrifice. How can you better love your spouse and children today?
In parenting, give your children choices whenever practical. It helps them develop decision making skills. Just make sure you only give your child a choice that you’re willing to live with as a parent.
(Reader’s Tip) Like your spouse for who he/she is as a person. When I’m really angry at my husband, I realize what kind of man he is and I thank God he chose me to be his wife.
St. Paul exhorts us to remove all bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, abuse, and malice from our relationships. Instead cultivate kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. (Eph. 4:31-32).
“O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Mt 14:31) Do you have doubts or concerns about your marriage? Consider enhancing or healing your marriage by checking out some of the resources on our page. Even if your marriage is going well, consider going on a retreat together.
Ruts are the bad side of habits, but marriage can have happy routines. (He always starts the coffee or she remembers to send cards on special days.) What “niceties” have become regular habits in your marriage?
Marriages can suffer from bad habits or “ruts.” Can you identify a rut that you’ve slipped into in your marriage? (Habits of criticism or defensiveness, old grudges held too long.) Ask forgiveness and strive for change.
“The whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses.” (Ex 4:12) It’s tempting to grumble against one’s spouse, or even God, when things aren’t going well. An occasional grumble can be an OK way to let off steam, but try to balance it with expressions of gratitude.
Today we remember the bombing of Hiroshima. Nuclear war destroys everything – lives, vegetation, genes, the future. Don’t “go nuclear” on your spouse. Stop before your anger escalates. How do you cool down when irritated? A walk? Music? A bath?
Parents, share your love of music, sports, fishing with your children…but give them room to develop their own hobbies and interests too.
(Reader’s Tip) Approach everything—work, school, obstacle or victory—as a team. Support each other in times of difficulty and share with each other times of success.
“He withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.” (Mt 14:13) It is important that we take time to pray and to be alone, even in our relationships. Discuss with your spouse different ways that you can both take time to be alone and have personal reflection time.
Since before Cinderella, stepparents have had a bad rap. Stepparents can play a precarious role, trying to love as a true parent but sometimes experiencing difficulties and unsure of their job. If you have a stepchild, pray, listen and wait to be accepted. If you don’t have a stepchild, pray for those in step relationships […]
Find peace in your role in the family, and prayerfully respect the roles of all members of the family. We help each other but honor each other’s distinct role.
St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, encouraged meditation on the Scriptures by placing yourself in the midst of a Scriptural text, picturing the scene in great detail. Try this today with your spouse and children.
Have you ever had to feed a large crowd? Perhaps more guests came than you planned. Yes, plan ahead, but when circumstances surprise you, take what you have, give thanks, and offer it. It will be enough. Don’t fight with your spouse over who didn’t plan enough.
(Reader’s Tip) Say “thank you,” especially for the little things. It lets your spouse know you noticed and appreciated what they did, no matter how little the task.