Archive for ‘tips and advice’
Are you compatible spenders/savers? Being either an extreme spendthrift or a miser can put stress on your marriage. Two spendthrifts are prone to debt. Two misers have little fun. Move to the middle if you need to.
(Reader’s Tip) Talk behind your spouse’s back…to God. If there is something your spouse is struggling with or trying to discern, your prayers on their behalf are very important.
Even if you’re not doing anything dishonest or flirting on Facebook or other social media, it can still steal time from your marriage. Take your eyes off your computer or phone and gaze at your beloved for a while.
October is Respect Life Month. We are reminded to value all human life and creation, especially the unborn, the poor and the vulnerable. Talk with your spouse and consider making a donation of goods, time or money to a group that helps those in need.
Reader’s Tip) My husband and I take turns planning our anniversary each year. Sometimes the plans are a total surprise to the other spouse, sometimes it’s a coordinated effort, but it’s always fun.
Can social media harm your marriage? It may start out innocently, just reconnecting with an old friend. Then you start sharing interests and news that you haven’t told your spouse. Be cautious: Online intimacy can grow and seem more exciting than real life.
Jesus’ parable of the vineyard and the two sons (Mt 21:28-32) reminds us that actions count more than words. Strive to make your words match your actions, and your actions be trustworthy.
(Reader’s Tip) Fall more in love every day. Don’t ever let the romance stop. Buy flowers often.
“What were you arguing about?…If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last.” (Mk 9:33, 35) This teaching of Jesus parallels the perennial marital argument about who is right. Arguments can often be shortened if you can give up the need to be right – every time.
“Not only do I love my son’s mother, I exalt her as a queen.” (Rosario Slack) Do your children hear how much you esteem your spouse? This works for both husbands and wives.
(Reader’s Tip) The best advice I was given at our wedding was: Your children will learn how to love not by the love you show them but by the love you show each other.
“I wish to speak of the love which God lavishes upon us and which we in turn must share with others.” (Pope Benedict XVI, On Christian Love) Pick a person today to lavish love on who may not appear to deserve it.
Don’t complain about anyone or anything today, even if it’s legitimate. A non-complaining/whining spouse is nicer to be around. Maybe you can hold off complaining for two days…
The parable of the generous landowner (Mt 20:1-16) reminds us that life doesn’t always seem fair. Marriage is not always “50/50.” Striving to give your all to your beloved (100%) is better than measuring tit for tat.
(Reader’s Tip) 50% of a marriage is finding the right person. The other 50% is being the right person.
“He is near who upholds my right…” (Isaiah 50:7-8) When was the last time you came to the defense of your beloved? It’s nice to know you have each other’s back.
Just as our public persona does not always reflect our true self, spouses are privy to the hidden truth/weaknesses of each other. What do you know about your beloved that perhaps no one else does? Honor this privileged information.
“Elijah went a day’s journey into the desert.” (1 Kings 19:4) What has been a low or dry point in your relationship with your beloved? How did you get out of it? If you’re still in a desert, ask for help – from your spouse, God, or a trusted counselor.
(Reader’s Tip) Are your grown children starting to think about marriage? Pray that God will lead them to the right person. Encourage them to pray, too.
“Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.” (Mt 11:28) You may not need this scripture right now, but you’ll need it sometime. Hang on to these words of comfort when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Be Jesus’ comfort to your beloved.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (Jn 3:16) God’s love is a sacrificial love. Are you willing to make sacrifices for your beloved?
“The families of migrants, especially in the case of manual workers and farm workers, should be able to find a homeland everywhere in the church.” (Familiaris Consortio) Does your family know any migrants from another country? Find one or two and invite them to dinner, and pray for these families today.
“Even if we are not called to sell all that we have, we probably are called to not buy everything that it is possible to buy.” (Susan Vogt) What do you expect to spend money on today? Some items are essential but is there one purchase that you can skip?
Our culture often thinks, “If it’s new, it’s better.” But sometimes the old and trusted is better. Over the years spouses develop a comfort with each other’s idiosyncrasies. What “crazy things” do you love about your spouse?
“Did not God choose those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith?” (James 2:5) Do you know anyone who is really poor? Look around you. What can you learn of faith from those you see?