Archive for ‘tips and advice’
A good argument can be a labor of love. Have something sensitive or difficult to talk about with your spouse? Try holding hands and maintaining direct eye contact when you are having a discussion about a disagreement.
Look at your beloved’s hands. Then, try eating with your non-dominant hand today. (Remember that some people have no hands or disabled hands.) Everyone’s gifts and talents are different. Cherish the ways that you and your spouse are “differently abled.”
“And you yourself a sword will pierce,” the prophet Simeon says to Mary. (Lk 2:35) Are you or your spouse carrying a heavy burden, a painful ache in your heart? Pray to Mary for help in bearing your suffering well. She knows our pain.
What is your ethnic heritage? Is it similar or different from that of your spouse? February is Black History Month. No matter what your race, it’s interesting to learn about your ethnic heritage. Are there any ethnic traits that you carry into your relationship?
(St. John Bosco) Sometimes spouses have different conversation goals. I might raise an issue because I want to complain about how something didn’t work. My husband used to think I wanted him to explain why it didn’t work or try to fix it. Now I just say, “Hey, I just want to vent.”
“The deepest insecurity for women is the fear of isolation and deprivation, and for men it’s a dread of failure and shame.” (Kristin Taveira) Does this ring true for you? Check it out with each other.
In 2 Samuel, we hear of King David giving in to lust for Bathsheba and then covering it up. Don’t put yourself in places of temptation. Put your energy into the one you vowed to love.
(St. Thomas Aquinas) Do your kids drain you of so much energy that you just want to stay home and veg out on a Saturday night? Consider sharing kids! Offer to take another couple’s child(ren) one night to give them a break. Then trade the favor the next week. Or if you don’t have kids, […]
(St. Angela Merici) “Marriage is a lifelong partnership of the whole of life.” (USCCB, Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan) Partnership here means sharing in life together, helping each other, journeying together toward heaven. Does that describe your marriage?
“I urge you, brothers and sisters…that there be no divisions among you.” (1 Cor 1:10) Husbands and wives united in love are a great gift to the world! Consider those things that divide you and your spouse: old grudges or disagreements. Ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of unity.
(Conversion of St. Paul) Today we celebrate the conversion of St. Paul. Conversion is an ongoing process for all of us. Talk with your beloved today about “conversion moments” you’ve experienced – big or small.
(St. Francis de Sales) There are people in our midst who quietly go about doing thankless jobs like cleaning the toilet, changing sheets, stocking grocery shelves, picking up other people’s garbage, or working in a fast food restaurant. Thank someone for making your life easier. Maybe it’s your spouse.
“Where you put your time, you put your life.” (Clayton Barbeau) What are your deepest values? Does the way you spend your time reflect these? If not, why not? Take charge.
(Roe v. Wade Anniv) Marriage is the “sanctuary of life.” (Bl. John Paul II) We grieve today the loss of so many lives to abortion. Do something pro-life today: pray together for the protection of human life or visit a sick, elderly, or disabled person. Little actions of kindness build a culture of life.
(St. Agnes) “Taking time to rest is not a waste of time.” (Susan Vogt) Give yourself a break today or tomorrow – from kids, a chore, worries. It doesn’t have to be long to refresh. Take your cue from God, our creator, who rested on the seventh day.
(MLK Jr. Day) Do you have a dream for your life together? You may not express it like Martin Luther King did, but having a dream gives direction to your life. Tell each other your dreams.
Sunday “Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.” (Ps 40:8a, 9a) When’s the last time you and your spouse have prayed together to know God’s will for your family? Spend time today asking the Lord what more he has to teach you. Pray to be always ready to do His will.
Jesus often reminds his disciples not to be afraid: “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” (Mt 14: 27) We are human, however, and we still have fears. What are you afraid of? Share your fears with your beloved, and encourage each other.
(St. Anthony) Did you have a dream last night? Recently? You say you seldom remember dreams? Make an intention to remember tonight’s dream. You may be surprised. Share your scariest dream with your spouse.
Winning an argument is not about proving you’re right. It’s not YOUR problem or MY problem. It’s OUR problem. Sometimes the marriage can win if you lose.
You may not think about your decision to marry as a call from God, but rather as an intense attraction to your beloved. Hmm, isn’t that what compelled the apostles to follow Jesus?
Parenting can be a joy but can also put stress on a marriage. Parenting young children is physically demanding. Parenting teens is emotionally draining. Take time today to reconnect with your spouse.
“Then they abandoned their nets and followed [Jesus].” (Mk 1:18) The apostles were ready to leave their work to follow Jesus. Work is necessary to pay bills and raise kids, but sometimes our job can steal time needed for our vocation – marriage. Ask your spouse if your work is in balance.
(Baptism of the Lord Sunday) “Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan to be baptized by him.” (Mt 3:13) Remember your baptism today, and that of your children. Look at pictures and share memories. Are you a godmother or godfather? Pray for your godchild today.
Even if it’s not your cup of tea, sometimes it’s worth doing something with your honey, just because it pleases the other person. For example, watch her favorite movie or his favorite sport, try dancing together, take a lesson…