Archive for ‘Daily Marriage Tip’
Do emotional or internet affairs count? YES. They are painful because you’re giving your best self to another person and cheating your spouse out of your energy. Besides, it’s usually the first step toward physical infidelity. Pour your energy into making this marriage work.
Do you sometimes “beat around the bush” with your spouse rather than ask a direct question? Practice using tact and gentleness to ask a difficult question.
Fighting Fair Tip: Hold hands. It may sound corny but try holding hands when discussing something sensitive. It physically reminds you that you may disagree about something, but that you’re still connected and committed to each other.
Do you and your spouse have similar or different political views? Just as serious political and religious differences challenge our country, they can also stress a marriage because they reflect our deepest values. Seek the common good, not just my good.
What do you think your spouse’s most cherished personal possession is? Check it out. Were you right?
What’s the wisest thing you’ve done so far in your life (other than marrying your beloved)? How is your spouse wise?
One way to prepare your children for a healthy marriage is to let them see you courting and being romantic with each other. Within the bounds of propriety, of course, a little playfulness helps them see the wholesomeness of married life.
What does your spouse do that makes you laugh? Often it’s the silly idiosyncrasies or foibles that can be special secrets between you.
Today’s reading from the Book of Wisdom reminds us that God loves all that He has made. Just for today, try to see you spouse as God does—precious and lovable despite his/or faults.
(All Soul’s Day) Do you know much about your spouse’s deceased relatives? Spend some time remembering and telling stories about the holy people in each other’s past. They may not have been perfect, but they are all in the family.
(All Saints Day) The Catholic Church honors all saints known and unknown today. Although your spouse may not always act like a saint, look for a saintly quality today. Is he or she generous, humble, self-sacrificing, courageous? Celebrate the saint you are living with today.
(Halloween) Do you have a “mask” that you hide behind at work or for company? Sometimes putting on a “good face” is necessary, but don’t let your spouse just get the dregs of your energy and good manners. Be your best real self with your beloved.
Presumably both of you work and toil for the good of the family – whether within or outside the home. What is your most disliked chore? Consider trading for a day.
“Children need time and space, attention, affection, guidance and conversation…They need jokes, play and touching. They need to have stories told to them by adults who know and love them.” (Mary Pipher) Which one are you best at giving? weakest?
Re-connecting after a business trip? There are typically two conflicting needs. The traveling spouse might be looking forward to relaxing while the at-home spouse may be looking for reinforcements. Connect first by talking, then reinforce, finally you’ve earned relaxation time.
In today’s Gospel (Luke 18:9-14) Jesus tells us that those who humble themselves will be exalted. How can I humble myself in marriage today? Make an effort to take the back seat today and let your spouse shine.
Don’t feel especially loving today? Try doing a loving action. It might be physical like a hug, or intellectual like writing a love note. Emotions often follow an action. Remember that love is an action verb.
Two months until Christmas! Sit down with your spouse today and do a little pre-planning (shopping lists, travel arrangements) to make the holidays less frantic.
Be a “Doubting Thomas.” If you’re about to accuse your spouse of losing an important paper, forgetting to write that thank you note, or a thousand other irksome offenses, try giving your beloved the benefit of the doubt first. Maybe you misunderstood.
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt 22:39) This oft quoted phrase can be deceiving. It depends on an honest love of self and then transferring that attitude to your neighbor – and of course your closest neighbor is your spouse. Don’t put yourself down today.
Today is the feast of Pope John Paul II, who challenged families to “become what they are.” What hopes do you have for your family? Do you have a vision for your family?
Do you know the names of the people on your street? Who is home when? The more you know your neighbors, the better they can be extra eyes, ears, and a helpful hand to your children. Be those eyes for your neighbor’s children too.
Today’s Gospel reading (Luke 18:1-8) reminds us of the power of persistence. Do you and your spouse need to persist in something–praying as a family, saving for a home, looking for work? Encourage each other.
Let’s fantasize. “If you suddenly had a million dollars, how would you use it?” (Better Marriages monthly discussion question) Is your answer different from your beloved’s? Could any of the money be spent to strengthen other marriages?
What’s your decision-making style? Slow or fast? Do you weigh the pros and cons? Go with your gut feeling? Defer to the other? Now, how does your style mesh with your spouse’s? Being similar can make life easier, but being different can often make it safer by covering all the bases.