Learning To Say I Do
Sara: These past couple of days, I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic. I realized that this week, Justin and I will have known each other for five years, and we’re celebrating our two year anniversary. It’s crazy to think just how much our lives have changed since our first encounter, and yet how fundamentally we are still the same people.
This weekend, we did a little pre-anniversary celebrating while Gus took an extra-long nap. We looked at our wedding album and a copy of Father’s homily from our wedding Mass. It’s been fun to look both over each year around our anniversary to help us remember our wedding day and reflect on Father’s advice.
Rereading it this year, one of my favorite parts of Father’s homily was when Father reminded us, “Sara, I know you’re nervous about things not being as you hoped; you’re right, they won’t be. Get used to it because that feeling will probably come up again many times. You also must remember that that’s NOT where your joy fails; joy doesn’t depend on things going well. Joy depends upon keeping God in your home, on remembering you’re His servants.”
Oh, how true that rang for me this year! I’m definitely a planner – one just needs to look at my calendar for less than a minute to realize that. So often, I get frustrated when things do not go according to plan – when Gus decides not to nap when he is supposed to, when Justin needs to work later than he intended, or when road construction slows us down.
Remembering that my joy isn’t contingent on everything going according to plan is, at times, a struggle for me. While I have gotten better than I was just two short years ago, I still manage to find myself wanting to plan and wanting to know how things are going to turn out. However, I shouldn’t have to have things be “my way” to find joy in them.
Having Gus has taught me better than anything that I am God’s servant and to find joy in the small, unplanned moments like Gus unexpectedly snuggling up with me (which is now so untypical of my busy ten and a half month old son).
While it is easy to find joy in Gus’ excitement when he does something new or an occasional date with Justin, I thank Father for reminding me the importance of asking myself how I can work to find joy in the upset tummies, the toys I pick up ten times a day, or the never-diminishing pile of dishes.
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