Learning To Say I Do
Sara: Lately, I’ve noticed myself becoming so discouraged. Caring for Gus can make even the minimal practices of the faith such as going to Mass and daily prayers much more challenging. I find that often times I leave Mass feeling like I didn’t really participate because I spent all of my time looking after Gus. Then, I felt badly when I realized friends of mine who have a baby younger than Gus were planning on taking their baby to the Triduum services. Since a regular hour Mass is a lot for Gus, I simply wasn’t that brave. It actually made me feel like I was shirking our responsibilities to raise Gus in the faith!
Justin: Sometimes it is hard not to make comparisons with others. Whenever I am tempted to do this I try to remember that holiness is unique to each of our stations in life. Sometimes, doing more than I am called to (even in my devotions) is not holiness. Often times it is pride.
Sara: In order to really celebrate the mystery of Easter, I decided to attend confession on Holy Thursday and then to fast from radio, internet, and television on Good Friday.
Justin: Sara failed to tell me about her radio fast until we got in the car for the two hour drive to her parents. Initially, I was kind of upset that I now had to commit to a sacrifice I hadn’t chosen. However, in reflecting on it, I think that this is part of what it means to be unified into one flesh in marriage. The other’s sacrifice is your sacrifice. Over the course of our lives, many things will happen to Sara. She may become ill or disabled. All of this will not happen to Sara alone, but will be my crosses as well. I will not get to choose my sacrifices.
Sara: Since we headed to my parents’ house for Easter on Good Friday, it was Sunday afternoon before I got back on the internet. On Sunday morning, I realized it had been very refreshing not to be continually connected. And surprisingly enough, despite the 73 Facebook notifications I had, I really hadn’t missed anything worthwhile.
Justin: Similarly, I had taken steps to unplug throughout Lent by not reading about sports online. Unplugging also gave me a sense of liberation as well. I am not saying that I won’t go back to checking on my favorite teams now that Lent is over, but I am definitely going to be more aware of the balance that I need to strike.
Sara: It was much more worthwhile to spend time this weekend laughing at Gus and his 17-month-old cousin’s antics, talk with my mom, and catch up with my sister.
Because of this experience, I’ve decided to greatly limit my computer time. Unless I’m doing something specific (like searching for a recipe or I am expecting an important email), my goal is to only check email first thing in the morning and during Gus’ two naps. Perhaps being less connected will result in me being more connected!
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