Catholic (and Other) Dating Websites
by Jason King, Chairman, Theology Department. St. Vincent College, Latrobe, PA
The United States has over 16 million people registered on over 1,000 online dating sites. To effectively use these sites, you need to know how the sites differ and what types of services they provide.
Online dating sites fall into two basic categories: general and niche. (I have borrowed and altered these categories from Joe Tracy, “A Look at the Five Different Types of Online Dating Services,” Online Dating Magazine). General Dating Sites focus on getting large numbers of members and providing a variety of search options.
General Dating Sites
Match.com typifies a general dating site. You begin by setting up a profile. Match.com asks a series of questions about you, your interests, lifestyle and background and values. At the end of the questions, Match.com encourages you to post a picture of yourself to generate greater interest in your profile. Once your profile is set up, you can search by age, interests, zip code, gender, or even key words (one of their new and unique features). This searching ability is necessary as Match.com has between 4-6 million profiles.
Along with Match.com, Lavalife and Yahoo! Personals represent the three largest (with users in the millions) and best examples of general dating sites. Lavalife distinguishes itself by offering three categories for searching: Dating, Relationship, and Intimate Encounters. Yahoo! Personals has all of the advantages of Yahoo’s search engines and messaging systems.
For Catholics, the advantage of these general dating sites is that they provide a large pool of potential matches. They enable you to search for Catholics, and, thereby, increase your chances of finding a match. However, these sites allow searches such as “one-night stands” and adulterous encounters that are contrary to Catholic beliefs.
While eHarmony is a general dating site, it narrows its membership to those looking for serious relationships. To set up a profile on eHarmony, you take a personality questionnaire consisting of over 400 questions. Your answers are analyzed by eHarmony’s “patented Compatibility Matching System” that uses personality traits to match individuals. Dr. Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eHarmony, is an evangelical Christian, and the site does not allow for homosexual matches or matches between married individuals.
This process eliminates those interested in casual dating and attracts those who are looking for serious relationships. Some believe that this is the reason eHarmony is one of the few online dating sites that has more women than men. Even with this registration process, eHarmony has over 1 million users. eHarmony’s uniqueness and popularity are reflected in its $50 a month cost, almost double the typical general dating site.
Catholics might use eHarmony for a variety of reasons. It has a high number of users, so you will be likely to find matches. The site is geared toward relationships and tends to avoid matches that would be problematic for Catholics. As religion is one of the important factors on eHarmony’s matching system, Catholics can be matched with other Catholics. The site, though, is not exclusively Catholic or Christian.
Catholic Dating Sites
As opposed to the broad appeal of general dating sites, niche dating sites target specific audiences. There are sites for Republicans, Democrats, bikers, NASCAR fans, and pet owners. Catholics sites are in the niche category. While there are almost 20 different online Catholic dating sites, the major sites, those having 40,000 members or more, are Catholicmatch, Catholicmingle, and Catholicsingles. They all have a similar process to set up a profile, search options, and messaging systems. They all focus on helping people find matches and building online communities. So, in addition to tools to find dates, all the sites have articles and advice columns about the Catholic faith. Finally, they all charge around the same amount, between $20 and $30 a month.
Each site is distinctive, however. Catholicmatch is run by Acolyte, LLC (whose founder is a Catholic), which also operates Conservativematch.com. Its perspective is expressed through its seven “Do you agree with the Catholic Church’s teaching on . . .” questions that everyone must answer when they set up their profile. The questions can be answered by agreeing, slightly agreeing, or not agreeing, and the answers are used by members to find matches.
Catholicmingle is for a broad Catholic audience. It seeks to bring together “like minded Catholic singles” and makes “you feel comfortable expressing yourself as both a Catholic and a single.” Catholicmingle takes this open approach to attract large numbers of users. This is in part because it is run by MingleMatch, Inc., which competes with general dating sites by operating a consortium of niche sites that includes BlackSingles, ChristianMingle, and, its most famous site, JDate.
Catholicsingles has the same broad appeal as Catholicmingle. It is for those whose “faith is one of the most, if not the most important criteria in looking for friends or a soulmate.” This site differs in that it has slightly more members than the other two—over 50,000—and is slightly cheaper—just under $20 a month.
With slightly fewer than 10,000 members, AveMariaSingles focuses on a very specific Catholic audience. The website “pledges to offer a service solely dedicated to helping faithful, practicing Catholics find their future spouse and help them become a better follower of Christ.” The site is for Catholics who are able to marry in the Church, and opposed to using contraception. Members have discerned a vocation to sacramental marriage but have not yet found the right person. AveMariaSingles offers a slightly different payment plan: a one time fee of $180 that allows permanent access to the site.
While this list of sites is not exhaustive, it should give you a sense of the kind of sites that are available and their popularity.
