Dear The Dating, The Engaged, The Married,
Valerie: “Just wait. It’ll get worse when you’re married.” “Just wait until you’ve been married for a year…” “Just wait until the seven year itch…“ “Just wait until you’ve been married as long as we have…”
The “just wait until…” scale seems to be sliding further and further away no matter how long you’ve been married. My husband, Rocco, and I have been married for a little over a year and a half and are determined to tell anyone who will listen just how amazing marriage is! Marriage is a gift from God!
Rocco: I can’t count how many times I’ve heard “Oh, you’re engaged? Congratulations, but just wait for marriage…” or “Oh, you’re newlyweds? Congratulations, but just wait until after the ‘honeymoon’ phase…” These are messages delivered with a sense of impending doom. At work or elsewhere, these “just waits” are often accompanied by comments about “the old ball and chain,” snide remarks about spouses, and all kinds of dubious marriage advice.
Valerie: I guess we are never quite married long enough to be considered to know what married life is like, but we would disagree. At no point do Rocco and I think we know everything about marriage. We are learning more and more about one another and about married life every day. But to those who are engaged, to those who are dating, to those who believe their vocation is to one day get married, to those who have already spoken those vows, take heart: Marriage is an amazing, life changing, ridiculously fun adventure!
Rocco: I’m on a mission: God created me to love Val and sacrifice my life for her. He created her to be my perfect match and for those whom God calls to the vocation of marriage, He’s created a perfect match for you as well. Forget anything you’ve heard from people who’ve become disillusioned and instead “just wait” for the joy, the excitement, the laughter, and the sheer fun of what’s to come!
Just wait… until you come home and your husband, who has just come home from work, has the fire going in the fireplace, Christmas lights plugged in and hot chocolate set out for you.
Just wait…until you come home to a house full of balloons and a gigantic card on your birthday and you realize how hard your wife worked to see your joy and that she’s been planning this moment for a long time.
Just wait… until the first snow since you’ve been married and your husband goes outside and creates a huge heart in the road to show you from the upstairs window.
Just wait… until she hatches a plan to feed the homeless and you remember how much you love her generosity and compassion.
Just wait… until you find the love note he hid around the house for you to find during the day.
Just wait… until you get to open your lunch bag to read the love note she wrote you that morning.
Just wait… until your husband comes home from work and the first thing he does is run, literally run, to find you, lift you up in an embrace, spin you around, and give you a “hello” kiss.
Just wait… until you see your wife waving from the window as you come home from work, with a huge smile on her face, so happy to see you, and she surprises you with a scrumptious meal, a clean house, and plans for the future: fruit of a grueling day while you were at work, and all out of love.
Just wait… until your husband pulls a dozen beautiful red roses from behind his back, in the middle of the week, for no other reason than he loves you and knows you love surprises.
Just wait… until when you serve food for the two of you and she insists you have the warmer dinner, the choicest portion of meat, and the bigger cookie, just because she loves to see you smile.
Just wait… until he changes his routine and brings his laptop over to work with you on the couch because he knows you enjoy his presence.
Just wait… until you two really realize for the first time that you are not just “her” family, not just “your” family, but your own family.
Just wait… until your husband tells you every day that you’re his most beautiful bride and he’s the luckiest guy in the world.
Just wait… until she giggles every time you surprise her with kisses on her cheek.
Just wait… until your husband asks to hold a friend’s baby for the first time, and he instantly melts, and you are reminded for the billionth time how good of a dad he will be one day.
Just wait… until you see your wife cradling a friend’s infant in her arms, and she instantly knows everything to do to calm him, and you are reminded for the billionth time how good of a mom she will be one day.
Just wait… because you have so much joy ahead of you…
About the authors: Valerie is a worship leader in the Washington, DC area and is the music director for campus ministry at George Washington University. (www.valerierepetski.com) Rocco is an engineer and does youth ministry with Youth Apostles, a community of Catholic men. (www.youthapostles.org) Valerie and Rocco also do ministry with their Catholic rock band, The Restless. (www.therestless.net) This article originally appeared on http://valerierepetski.com/blog/ and is used with permission.