News And Views
My Catholic Marriage
My Husband the Gentleman
Even before I knew it by name, I have always believed chivalry to be very important. When I was a teenager, it was on my list of characteristics and qualities that I found particularly appealing in boys. This might sound crazy to you but yes, I really did have this list, and I really did go over it with a pencil and check it off whenever a cute new boy caught my attention. This list included everything from “is Catholic,” “has a relationship with God,” “likes kids,” and “my parents like him;” to “is taller than me” (I’m almost 5’9”), “makes me laugh,” “respects me,” and “has pretty eyes.” Seriously. And “is chivalrous” was close to the top of the list.
Clearly I had my eye out for chivalry for a while. When I met Daniel and we began dating five years ago, one of the first things that attracted me to him was that he was an almost perfect gentleman. I say “almost” because no one is perfect—but I happen to think my Daniel is pretty darn close.
When Daniel was with me, I never found myself opening a car door or any other door. If his arms were empty, mine immediately were cleared of whatever they were carrying (except for my purse, of course—he wouldn’t carry that). If he saw me shiver, he would give me his coat to wear over my own. Usually I wouldn’t let him though.
As the years went by, none of these chivalrous habits disappeared. Daniel wasn’t trying to impress me during our “courtship” phase. He’s just a gentleman, pure and simple. And I love it!
Now that we’re married, there’s an even more meaningful way that Daniel has been able to be a gentleman for me. In my experience with Natural Family Planning, I can tell you that I feel so respected and well cared-for by my husband in a very big way. He would never treat my healthy body, working perfectly as God designed it, as though it was diseased and in need of being “fixed” so as to be more readily available at all times for his own use.
Nor would he encourage me to put my health at risk. Millions (I’m guessing here) of dollars are spent every year by people who are prescribed pills that will help keep a less than healthy organ/system working properly. Something is not quite right when others, or perhaps even some of the very same people, are spending millions (also a guess) on a daily pill that is intended to prevent a healthy organ/system from working properly. Contraception is not the way to go. And I have a wonderful, chivalrous gentleman who knows that.
I should have written about this during Natural Family Planning Awareness Week but better late than never!
This pretty much sums up what I’m getting at here: One day over the summer, Daniel said to me, “I’m really glad that we don’t use birth control. I feel like that would really cause me to see you as more of an object, and you don’t deserve that.”
That is my “knight in shining armor;” I’m so glad I put chivalry on my list!