Learning To Say I Do
Sara: Gus manages to continually remind me just how big he now is. In the span of just over a week, Gus has gone from “scooting” to “crawling” to kneeling. Now, Gus is pulling himself up to stand while hanging onto furniture. He’s even stumbled (I think accidently) through a few steps with his walker. When he stood up for the first time, I realized I had never been both so proud and so scared in my life.
When Gus took those first few steps, I did get a bit teary. I think I finally realized what everyone has been telling me all these months. Gus truly isn’t going to be a baby much longer. And the time has gone so fast! Each and every day, I have to give Gus to God. It truly won’t be much longer before Gus is beginning school!
As we begin Holy Week, these first “steps” also made me think of Mary’s role in Jesus’s life. I now more fully understand Mary’s distress in not being able to find Jesus when he stayed behind in the temple, her role in having Jesus turn the water in wine at the wedding at Cana, and more. This Lent, I’ve also been pondering Mary’s role in seeing and experiencing Jesus’s pain on the cross.
Oftentimes, Gus will be crawling or playing and get a bump. He’ll begin to cry, and I’ll pick him up and comfort him so he knows that everything is okay. His pain pierces my heart in a way I have never experienced before. I can’t imagine Mary’s pain and suffering to see Jesus on the cross.
Sometimes, it’s hard to realize I don’t know what God has in store for Gus in his lifetime. We don’t know what Gus’s vocation is, or if he’ll struggle academically. We also don’t know if Gus will enjoy playing sports or if he’ll prefer to play music.
At times, I think it would be nice to know these things so I can prepare Gus and our family for these things. However, then I have to realize that God knows better than us what we need. As we experience our crosses with Gus, I have to remember that Jesus’ suffering ended with Easter joy. I pray our sorrow may always have such a happy ending!
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