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For Your Marriage

Meet Sara and Justin. They married in June 2011, they welcomed their first child in August 2012.

Here’s to All the Good Women (and Men!)

Sara: This past weekend, I was very blessed to have the opportunity to attend the Catholic New Media Conference (CNMC) right in my own backyard in Kansas City.

While I learned so much from the presenters, keynote speakers, beautiful liturgies, and networking and look forward to taking this information back to my parish, I think I really learned the most from my conversations with others.

Many of these great speakers and participants were men – men who had young families. Throughout the weekend, I realized behind these great men had to be extraordinary young women who supported their husbands in this venture and took care of the home front while these young men were gone. While it wasn’t possible on this trip, I decided I wanted to meet these women as they are an inspiration to me!

I’ve actually been struggling a lot lately – to cook, do dishes, and even keep the apartment clean. Each time Justin does yet another thing to help take care of us, I can’t help but feel guilty. While I realize due to my daily 45 minute commute to work each way, he’s typically home first to begin chores, I still feel like I am somehow failing both as a wife and as a person. I want to take care of my husband and my family. I want to sacrifice for Justin in daily chores and daily life. I want to support him in his career and make life easier for him. Unfortunately, some days I feel like I’m doing the opposite – I feel like I’m just one more person for him to take care of.

If I cook dinner, do dishes, or help pick up once a week, it’s been a good week. Most days, it’s not that I simply don’t want to do these things – it’s that I simply don’t have the energy when I get home from work. The problem is I just don’t know how to change that. And I realize we don’t even have children yet, who will require time, energy, and more patience.

However, I do think I need to see Justin as “co-ministering” in my current ministry at my parish. While his face may not be in front of the parishioners on a daily (or even weekly basis), Justin is the reason I can continue this ministry that God is currently calling me to lead. I need to continually examine myself to determine if I am just as supportive of Justin as he is to me in the ways he is called to spread the Gospel – through his work as faculty advisor at his university’s Newman Center, potentially leading another mission trip to a third world country, and wherever else God may call us to go. I need to be patient even in my impatience.

I don’t yet have this “good wife” thing down, but I need to cut myself some slack and realize there will be days I feel this way. And perhaps, “those days” are part of how God will make both Justin and me holy. And perhaps, I should be more grateful that behind this woman there’s an extraordinary man!