We all know families that have that special “something” that’s hard to put into words…a sense of teamwork, unity, identity, and plain-old fun. It’s inspiring to see a family like this in action, playing music or a sport together, or laughing and telling stories around the table. 

What we’re glimpsing in these families is a faith-filled and lively family culture. And in our consumerist age of distractions, busy schedules, and anxiety, families that swim against the current and forge their own unique culture seem increasingly rare. 

So, in this season of back-to-school, let’s do a brief refresher on how to achieve a vibrant family culture. We all want that special something for our families, but it doesn’t come by accident! Let’s remind ourselves about what’s operating beneath the surface when we see a family whose culture we admire. 

Not that it’s as easy as it sounds, but when we’re building toward a fulfilling family culture, there are three steps we need to take first. All the steps build toward the ultimate goal of family life—to become a unique image of God, the Most Holy Trinity, by gradually building up interpersonal communion and all of the creativity and blessings, for us and others, that come from that! 

So, to go back to basics from the Heaven in Your Home Workshop, here are the steps to a flourishing family culture: 

Step One: At Level 1 of our Trinity House, Faith Life, we receive our communion, which provides the basis for our family to grow into a unique image of God, the Most Holy Trinity. We orient our week around this communion by keeping a holy sabbath, which deepens the communion that God gives us in the Eucharist for the week ahead. And we keep our home focused on it by tending our home altar, which physically calls us back to communion with God and each other in prayer throughout the week. 

Step Two: In Level 2, Person & Relationships, we strengthen our communion by developing other-centered persons and relationships. We keep our week moving toward communion by observing a weekly date night, and we keep our environment oriented toward it by seeking out quiet places like a walk, car ride, or tuck-in to connect with each family member to build the relationships. 

Step Three: In Level 3 of our Trinity House, Household Economy, we care for our communion. We make time for a weekly chore day (or even just one hour), during which our shared work as a family helps to build a well-ordered and flourishing household. And well-kept workspaces physically support our communion so that we can effectively lead our children in shared work and studies. 

In a way, it is very simple how naturally our communion as a family can be received, strengthened, and cared for in Faith Life, Person & Relationships, and Household Economy. And these three steps set the stage for the flowering of Family Culture! A family that draws grace from God, loves well, and works hard will naturally produce a unique and beautiful family culture, the level at which we celebrate our communion. 

Family culture includes so much: observing the liturgical year as a family, sports, reading, music, holidays, nature, pets, art, travel, and other types of leisure. But don’t be overwhelmed! We start with orienting our day toward communion with the family meal, a mini-sabbath, and our home also points toward it with a beautiful family table. 

As our families get back to school, let’s give our kids a gift that will last a lifetime. By taking small, daily steps to build a vibrant family culture, we’ll send them into the world with that special “something”—a living awareness that they have received communion from our Lord, strengthened it, cared for it, and celebrated it with their loved ones. Most importantly, they will have what it takes to arrive at the crown of a Trinity House, Level 5: Hospitality & Service, at which we share our communion with those outside our family! 

Yes, let’s do more than cheer our kids on as they go back to school. Let’s get back to basics as parents in this sacred calling to form our children in the faith!