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For Your Marriage

Sarah married her best friend Daniel in 2009. Each month she shares about their life filled with faith and family.

Being an Old Married Couple

I made a realization this week: Daniel and I can no longer tell people that we got married “last year.” It may seem like a silly little thing, but we now have to use the words “in 2009” instead, just like we will have to for the remainder of our married life.

Does this mean that we’re officially no longer newlyweds? When exactly does being a “newlywed” end? I don’t think there are any technical rules that go along with that word, but now that we have a seven-month-old child and can no longer use the words “last year,” I don’t feel like we qualify anymore.

And here’s what it’s like being an “old married couple.” Daniel slept on the couch last night—no, not because he was “in the dog house” or because we were fighting at all. It was because after about an hour of deliberation over what we should do about Charlie’s sleeping situation, we decided that at least for one night all three of us would be most comfortable with Charlie in the bed with me and Daniel on the couch.

Our queen size bed is just not big enough for three; Charlie hasn’t been sleeping well for the past couple of weeks, and he seems to do much better in our bed. (Now some of you may be concerned for various reasons about our decision to co-sleep, even if only temporarily, but since I am not here to discuss the detriments and benefits of sharing our bed with our baby, or even my own concerns about the situation, I won’t. The way I see it, we all need to sleep and sometimes need to do what we need to do to get sleep.) I am relatively comfortable sleeping between Charlie and Daniel, with a pillow between Charlie and the edge of the bed, but Daniel is not.

To get to my point here, even though I am a sleep-deprived mother of a teething seven-month-old boy, I still had a hard time falling asleep without Daniel in bed with me. For the past year and eight months I have fallen asleep next to him, and without him there something just isn’t right. That’s what it’s like being an old married couple. Although I suppose it would have been weird after just a couple of months, too…

Speaking of teething, while I’ve thought Charlie has been teething for the past few months, his first tooth has finally popped through! I noticed it last night while he and I were cheering for his Aunt Jane during her high school JV basketball game. Well, the rest of my family was cheering—I spent most of the time holding my hands over Charlie’s little ears because every time the buzzer sounded he would start to cry. He was really sleepy so I think that was the problem, but I’m not sure if he’s quite cut out for high school basketball games yet. As soon as we hurried home to his daddy after the game, life was much better for our little man. And I was so excited to get home and show Daniel Charlie’s tooth!

I wonder how much longer it will be before his second one makes its way through. I hope it hurries, then maybe we can enjoy at least a few weeks of better sleep for the whole family. Until then, though, Daniel and I plan to buy a more comfortable, real mattress for the portable crib we have set up in our room for Charlie and hopefully that will help him to sleep in it. Maybe we can go shopping tonight… this old married woman missed her husband last night!