As a mother of three young boys, I sometimes joke with my husband that Lent would be really easy if we didn’t have kids. By easy, I mean we would have exponentially more time for praying, more patience for fasting, and greater means for almsgiving. Of course, Lent is not supposed to be easy; I’m sure, even without children, we’d find plenty of excuses for not living out the liturgical season in the way we are called.

Before we had children, my husband and I strived to attend every Mass and service during the Triduum. Since having children, we’ve often needed to find other ways to keep Holy Week holy because of sickness, pregnancy, or other family needs. In its own way, missing out on some of these liturgical celebrations (or wrangling a toddler throughout a three-hour service) has been a form of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

What’s more, I’ve been reflecting on the importance of imparting to my children a sense of joy throughout this season, despite its penitentiary nature. After all, Lent is a preparation for the most joyous feast of our faith. I want my children to understand that Lent is an opportunity to participate in God’s redemptive love, not a season in which we must earn God’s love through misery.

Below are five ways we try to observe Lent with our three children under the age of eight.

Tangible Stations of the Cross

The first year we moved into our neighborhood, one of our neighbors invited us to pray the Stations of the Cross in her backyard on Good Friday. She and her husband had printed child-friendly images of the Stations and posted them along their fence. She’d also asked everyone to bring tangible items for the children to hold for each station. Now I try to pray the Stations every Friday of Lent with my kids in this way. I choose a shorter, simple version of the prayers, and I offer my kids a small item to hold at different stations to help them visualize the prayer. Recently, as we were praying in our backyard, my oldest found a very large stick that he and his brother traded off carrying, and it ended up being a beautiful way to reflect on the weight of the cross. Below, find a list of items you can use for each station.

Lenten Countdown:

Parents understand well the trouble young children have grasping time. Forty days is a long time, even for an adult to process. Breaking Lent down by weeks, the way we do in Advent through candles, can help with the “Is it Easter yet?” questions. A visual calendar, paper ring countdown, or color-coded liturgical calendar are all great tools for children, depending on their age. In our family, we also strive to keep the Sundays of Lent as opportunities for a small celebration, not only to break up the waiting time but also to remind the children of the joy of Easter to come.

Bible Stories & Saint Stories:

One of my friends shared that this year, her older daughters gave up ordinary bedtime stories throughout Lent, instead choosing to read the bible every night. Using a beautifully illustrated children’s bible, my friend has been enjoying sharing scripture with her daughters and watching their curiosity for their faith grow. I love the idea of letting older children choose a saint or biblical figure to walk with throughout Lent, learning more about them through reading and prayer. We also love paying special attention to saint feast days (such as St. Patrick and St. Joseph) during Lent, celebrating with coloring pages, crafts, and a special meal.

Kid-friendly Prayer, Fasting, & Almsgiving:

Now that our oldest son is preparing for his First Communion, we’ve shared more about the three pillars of Lent. While we don’t require him to give something up, my husband and I openly discuss what we are giving up for Lent and encourage him to see things like chores and school as opportunities to love Christ. As a family, we’ve added special evening reflections to our older sons’ nightly routines. We’ve also encouraged them in almsgiving in simple, tangible ways, such as helping a little brother put away a toy or helping deliver a meal to a neighbor with a new baby.

Making Holy Week Special:

We strive to bring Holy Week into our home symbolically, using tangible items and simple actions to help every member of our family reflect on the mysteries of our faith. On Holy Thursday, we read the Gospel while my husband washes everyone’s feet in remembrance of the Last Supper; lighting an olive oil candle helps us reflect on the Mount of Olives. On Good Friday, we contemplate the crucifixion with a small crown of thorns, a cross, or a myrrh-scented candle. On Holy Saturday, we begin preparations for Easter to encourage the excitement for this sacred feast. Finally, on Easter Sunday, we keep the resurrection at the center of our celebrations, pointing out how even the Easter eggs filled with candy remind us of the tomb, opened to give us the greatest Gift of all. We keep an Easter candle on our table throughout the Easter season.

Lent with small children brings its own set of challenges, but learning to celebrate through the eyes of my children has deepened my faith in ways I’ve never expected.

Items for Tangible Stations

• First Station: A rope to represent Jesus’s condemnation to death
• Second Station: A small or large cross
• Third Station, 7th, & 9th Stations: A bandage to represent Jesus falling
• Fourth Station: Image of the Holy Mother
• Sixth Station: A cloth or image of the veil of St. Veronica
• Tenth Station: A piece of cloth to represent Jesus’s garment
• Eleventh Station: A large nail
• Fourteenth Station: A large rock to represent the tomb

Ideas for Holy Week:

CatholicByDesign is a beautiful, liturgically-minded online resource for symbolically bringing the Triduum into your home.