Author Archives: Julia Dezelski

National Marriage Week Contest Rules

During National Marriage Week (Feb. 7-14), For Your Marriage will run a contest on social media. By entering the contest, contestants agree to these rules, including the Agreement for Entry in Contest (below).

  1. Entry into the contest: a contestant will be entered into the contest by replying to a contest question posted on social media; a different question will be posted each day from February 7-13)*
  2. Age of contestants: all contestants must be older than 18
  3. Number of entries: only one entry per day is allowed; a contestant may enter again on an additional day or days by answering an additional question or questions
  4. Permissible entries: entries should in good faith attempt to answer the question asked; entries that do not will be deleted
  5. Selection of the winners: each morning (February 8-14), a winner will be selected from the previous day’s entries (received before 12 midnight Eastern Time)
  6. Announcement of winners: after the winner is selected, his/her name will be announced on social media
  7. Prize: each day’s prize is a pair of ForYourMarriage water bottles from the USCCB store; a total of 8 prizes will be given
  8. Sending prize to winner: each day’s winner will be asked to contact marriage@usccb.org and send his/her mailing address; the prize will then be mailed to the winner.
Fine print (Agreement for Entry in Contest):
*By submitting an entry in the For Your Marriage National Marriage Week contest (“Entry”), the Contestant agrees that the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (“Conference”) shall be the sole and exclusive owner of Contestant’s entry, including but not limited to the copyright, and that Conference shall own or be licensed to use any materials and/or elements embodied in the Entry which are not original to Contestant, to indemnify and hold harmless Conference from and against any and all claims, suits and costs which Conference may incur arising from the entry and Contestant’s preparation of the entry, and that Conference may assign, license or otherwise transfer its rights under this Agreement and that this Agreement shall inure to the benefit of Conference’s assigns, successors and licensees. Contestant agrees that this Agreement has been made in the District of Columbia, and that any and all claims arising from this Agreement will be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the District of Columbia.

Marriage Rx

All relationships need help from time to time. Each article in Marriage Rx discusses the symptoms of a common but perplexing problem and offers a prescription to keep your marriage healthy.

The Empty Nest by Judy Clark

Resolving Differences by Kathy Beirne

Parenting Teens by Lynda Madison

Career Conflicts by Susan Vogt

Remarriage by Bill Urbine

Personality Differences by Judy Clark

Recreation by Mary Jo Pedersen

Making Moral Decisions by Joanne Heaney-Hunter

Parenting to Beat the Bedtime Blues by Lynda Madison

The Marital Sexual Relationship by Don Paglia

Finances: Yours/Mine/Ours by Judy Clark

Interfering In-Laws by Kathy Beirne

Sharing Household Duties by Mary Jo Pedersen

How Much Does Faith Matter? by Susan Vogt

Balancing Family and Work by Jim Healy, Ph.D.

When Your Marriage Hits the Boredom Rut by Don Paglia

Planning a Catholic Wedding

Nowadays many engaged couples handle a lot of their own wedding planning. When at least one of the individuals is Catholic this can include making arrangements to be married in a Catholic church. This is a significant decision. It means more than just choosing an appropriate and picturesque setting for the ceremony and the photos!

You’re trying to make your wedding a meaningful and memorable experience and, most of all, to express in a clear and beautiful way the hopes you have for your married life. How can you achieve these goals in the celebration of your wedding? Here are three general suggestions. You can find even more specific ideas on other parts of this website.

Take time to prepare and plan

Catholic dioceses in the United States have policies that require a preparation period of six months to one year for couples who want to be married in the Church. The preparation includes a contact with the parish in which they want to have their wedding. It’s a good idea to get your date on the parish calendar as soon as possible. It’s also important to talk with the parish priest or deacon or pastoral minister about what the parish allows and expects in a celebration. It is also possible that the parish can offer specific help and resources, such as a person to help you plan and coordinate the event.

Beginning early to work with the parish makes practical good sense and it also helps you to develop a relationship with a community that shares your faith and wants to support you in the sacrament you are about to receive and live. Quite likely you will be given some material about the Catholic wedding liturgy and encouraged to read and ask questions. Take the time to do this. It will enhance your preparation and help you to focus on the meaning of the commitment you are about to make.

Three forms of the Rite of Marriage

The Catholic Church provides three different forms of celebrating the Rite of Marriage. When two Catholics are marrying, the celebration will normally take place within a Mass. The second form, which does not include a Mass, is used when a Catholic marries another baptized Christian. There is a third form, which also does not include a Mass, for a Catholic marrying someone who is a non-Christian. You should choose one of these forms in conversation with the priest or deacon who will witness your marriage vows. Watch the video to learn more about the Rite of Marriage.

Take advantage of options

Within each of the three forms of the Rite, there are additional choices. For example, you can select biblical readings, blessings, and prayers from the approved texts. You can also choose friends or family members for different roles in the ceremony, such as readers and those who assist with the Eucharistic gifts and the distribution of Holy Communion. Making these choices with your future spouse and with the priest or deacon can help you to learn more about the Catholic understanding of marriage and to become more deeply involved in your celebration of it.

Take notice of the ritual

A very good way to know what the Catholic Church believes is to participate in its worship. This is especially true in the case of marriage. The Catholic marriage rite, whether it is celebrated within a Mass or not, is a powerful teaching tool. This is experienced in many ways, for example:

  • in the active role taken by the couple who, in the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church, are the “ministers” of the sacrament;
  • in the fact that the wedding takes place in a church, signifying it is a sacred action;
  • in the scriptural readings which speak of God’s plan for marriage and his presence to the couple;
  • in the music which lifts our thoughts and feelings in a prayerful, joyful way;
  • in the homily given by the priest or deacon addressing the couple and their guests about the meaning of marriage as well as its joys and challenges;
  • in the vows and exchange of rings in which the couple express their freely-given consent, promising to create a loving and lifelong union of permanence, fidelity, and openness to children;
  • in the various prayers and blessings through which the Church solemnizes and supports the journey on which the couple is embarking.

Thoughtful, prayerful planning and participation in your Catholic wedding ceremony is a decision that will bring many blessings to your married life long after you’ve forgotten all the other decisions you made about flowers, photos, and favors on the tables!

For Further Reading: 

Celebrate National Marriage Week 2026

The observances of National Marriage Week (February 7-14) and World Marriage Day (Sunday, February 8) are an opportunity to focus on building a culture of life and love that begins with supporting and promoting marriage and the family. Our theme for 2026 is “Man and Woman He Created Them: Together With Purpose.”

Every diocese and parish is encouraged to offer a Eucharistic Holy Hour for engaged and married couples on Saturday, February 14.

Resources

The Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family Life, and Youth, with National Marriage Week USA, offers the following resources to bishops, priests, deacons, married couples, and lay men and women to help celebrate and live the great gift of married life!

Click these images to download posters in English and Spanish:

  • Additional resources from other dioceses include:

“Marriage And Mercy” Retreat Day Seven: Forgiveness In The Family

Quote for reflection:
“One cannot live without seeking forgiveness, or at least, one cannot live at peace, especially in the family. We wrong one another every day. We must take into account these mistakes, due to our frailty and our selfishness. However, what we are asked to do is to promptly heal the wounds that we cause, to immediately reweave the bonds that break within the family.” – Pope Francis, Wednesday Audience (11.4.15)

Breaking open the theme:
Do Pope Francis’ words ring true to you? “We wrong one another every day.” We are frail and selfish. Unfortunately, sin affects all of us and all of our relationships. The communion of persons in marriage and the family is a sign of God’s love, so division and strife strike at its very meaning and mission. However, the realization that we fail our family members, perhaps even daily, is not a cause for despair. It is an invitation to receive God’s mercy and to offer that mercy to our loved ones – “immediately,” says Pope Francis!

Real-life example:
After a long day of work, both Samuel and Angela felt tired and out of sorts. When they realized that neither of them had thought to make babysitting arrangements for the following travel weekend, the incriminations started. Ten minutes later, they both felt even worse and now misunderstood and blamed. “Is this what marriage is supposed to be like?” thought Angela to herself. Samuel was about to storm out of the room with an angry word when he stopped and checked himself. He had been trying to get into the habit of offering forgiveness quickly, before a situation escalated. “I’m sorry, honey,” he said. “Look – let’s get some dinner and wind down, and then figure something out.” The words were welcome and healing to Angela, and she too was grateful for an about-face that prevented the couple from another dead-end argument.

Put it into practice:

  1. Pray: Ask the Lord’s healing for situations in your marriage and family that aren’t peaceful.
  2. Reflect: What areas of selfishness do you struggle with the most? How do they affect your spouse?
  3. Do: Don’t hesitate to speak healing words into a tense situation as soon as possible: “I love you,” “I forgive you,” “I’m sorry.” These can defuse tension and re-focus the conversation.

Prayer for married couples:
Almighty and eternal God,
You blessed the union of husband and wife
So that we might reflect the union of Christ with his Church:
look with kindness on us.
Renew our marriage covenant.
Increase your love in us,
and strengthen our bond of peace
so that, [with our children],
we may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Virtual Retreats Homepage

“Marriage And Mercy” Retreat Day Six: Jesus Shows Us The Face Of Mercy

Quotes for reflection:
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” (Matt 5:7)

The Paschal Mystery – Jesus’ death and Resurrection – “bears within itself the most complete revelation of mercy, that is, of that love which is more powerful than death, more powerful than sin and every evil, the love which lifts man up when he falls into the abyss.” – St. John Paul II, Dives in Misericordia, no. 15

Breaking open the theme:
To know what mercy really is, we must look at Jesus. Mercy is more than simple kindness or forgiveness or being nice to people, although it can certainly be shown in those actions. The most perfect image of mercy, though, is Jesus’ willing sacrifice on the Cross and his triumph over death itself. Because Jesus defeated sin, we can be forgiven our own sins, no matter what. We can take confidence in Jesus’ promise that good will ultimately triumph over evil. That is the message of mercy!

Real-life example:
For over twenty years, Michael had felt a gnawing guilt over his habit of watching pornography. He loved his wife, Janet, and furtively hid his pornography use from her. But one day – he knew it had to happen eventually – she found out. Janet felt deeply betrayed, and Michael felt almost unbearable shame. They both wondered whether their marriage would survive. Janet insisted that Michael seek out help, so he called their parish priest. In their first meeting, Michael let everything off his chest for the first time, all the years of hiding and guilt and sin. The priest responded with kindness and offered the Sacrament of Penance. Michael felt overcome with unworthiness but also for the first time felt hope that he could change. God’s mercy had never felt so real.

Put it into practice:

  1. Pray: Together with your spouse, pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for your marriage and family.
  2. Reflect: What difference does it make to you to know that God’s mercy can forgive any sin and that his goodness triumphs over all evil? What would it be like if this weren’t true?
  3. Do: If you or your spouse is struggling with a major sin like pornography use, infidelity or something else damaging to your marriage, get help right away from a priest or trusted friend.

Prayer for married couples:
Almighty and eternal God,
You blessed the union of husband and wife
So that we might reflect the union of Christ with his Church:
look with kindness on us.
Renew our marriage covenant.
Increase your love in us,
and strengthen our bond of peace
so that, [with our children],
we may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Virtual Retreats Homepage

“Love and Life” Retreat Day Seven: Marriage is a School of Love and Gratitude

For a printable PDF version, click here.

Breaking Open the Theme
As Adam recognized Eve as God’s gift to him, likewise spouses should recognize each other as God’s gift in their lives. Marriage is “a school for nurturing gratitude for the gifts of God and for openness to the gifts of God that are proper to marriage,” such as sexual intimacy and children (USCCB, Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan, p. 50). Through life’s journey, sometime a husband or wife may need to reflect on the gift of the other, especially when misunderstandings or difficulties arise. To remember how this person came to offer love so unexpectedly or how one recognized the other as “made for you” is to be humbled by the divine gift you have received.

In those moments of remembering, thankfulness should fill one’s heart. Spousal gratitude is linked to conjugal charity. It will help husband and wife to persevere in fidelity, kindness, communication, and mutual assistance. “In the joys of their love and family life, he [Jesus] gives them [spouses] here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb,” (Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 73).

Reflection
Watching her husband reading to their young children one evening, her heart swelled in gratitude for the tender and loving man that God had made for her. Catching her look of love, he paused and looked deeply into her eyes, returning her smile. He savored the moment of peace and the warmth of his family surrounding him, thinking that he certainly had so much to be grateful for. Later, after the children were tucked in bed, she embraced him and told him how grateful she was to have him. He wondered aloud, “God has given us so much, I’ve been feeling lately like we certainly have a lot to offer another child…”

To Think About
(Choose one or more of the following questions to reflect on by yourself and/or with your spouse)

  1. List five ways that you show gratitude toward your spouse. Which two ways does he/she like best? Resolve to do those two more often.
  2. What good thing did your spouse do recently that you could have thanked him or her for, but didn’t? Make a note to remember next time.

Prayer of Married Couples
Almighty and eternal God,
You blessed the union of husband and wife
So that we might reflect the union of Christ with his Church:
look with kindness on us.
Renew our marriage covenant.
Increase your love in us,
and strengthen our bond of peace
so that, [with our children],
we may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Virtual Retreats Homepage

“Love and Life” Retreat Day Six: Marriage is a Journey of Human and Spiritual Growth

For a printable PDF version, click here.

Breaking Open the Theme
“On their wedding day, the couple says a definitive ‘yes’ to their vocation of marriage. Then the real work of marriage begins” (USCCB, Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan, p. 45). Each stage of marriage has its own joys and sorrows, opportunities and challenges. A couple grows in holiness by journeying with Christ through the mystery of His life and that of His Passion, Death, Resurrection, and Glorious Ascension (the Paschal Mystery).

Pope Francis emphasizes in Amoris Laetitia that married love is “a process of constant growth,” such that “a love that fails to grow is at risk” (no. 134). The Paschal Mystery unfolds again and again throughout marriage and invites spouses to continually grow in love. There are Holy Thursdays, times of loving service when couples put their own needs in second place. There are Good Fridays, times of suffering, tragedies, even death. There are Holy Saturdays, times of waiting and uncertainty when all seems dark and the couple wonders what is to come and even if their marriage will survive. Then there are Easter Sundays, when renewed faith or celebrations such as the marriage of a child or the birth of a grandchild bring new hope. Through all of these moments, a couple can grow in love and holiness.

Reflection
When he returned from his tour in Iraq, the baby was nine months old. He felt like an outsider in his own family. There was no way he could fully explain what his past year had been like, and he had missed so much at home. The baby didn’t know him and certainly didn’t seem to need anyone but Mom. His wife was thrilled that he was home, but she resented that his return had thrown a wrench into her well-established routine. They felt a great distance between them. Memories of the happy days when they were first married helped to give them faith that God meant for them to be together, and they looked with hope to better days ahead. She found support from other military spouses; he found sound advice in his talks with their pastor. Now, their baby is four years old. Their marriage and their family bond are strong. They volunteer as a mentor couple to support other military couples struggling with similar transitions.

To Think About
(Choose one or more of the following questions to reflect on by yourself and/or with your spouse)

  1. Think of a time from the past when your marriage went through a transition. Describe life before, during and after the transition. What got you through? How was God present to you?
  2. How has surviving a time of trial, either personally or in your marriage, better equipped you to support others who are suffering or struggling?

Prayer of Married Couples
Almighty and eternal God,
You blessed the union of husband and wife
So that we might reflect the union of Christ with his Church:
look with kindness on us.
Renew our marriage covenant.
Increase your love in us,
and strengthen our bond of peace
so that, [with our children],
we may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Virtual Retreats Homepage

“Love and Life” Retreat Day Five: Marriage is the Foundation of the Family and Society

For a printable PDF version, click here.

Breaking Open the Theme
The early Church understood the Christian family as an ecclesia domestica, or domestic Church. “The family is called a “domestic church” because it is a small communion of persons that draws its sustenance from the larger communion that is the whole Body of Christ, the Church, and also reflects the life of the Church so as to provide a kind of summary of it” (USCCB, Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan, p. 39). The domestic Church rests on the foundation of a baptized husband and wife. They establish a communion of love into which children are welcomed.

By creating a home where love, care and growth in the faith flourish among family members, married couples reflect the life of the Church in the world. Indeed, as Pope Francis says powerfully, “the Church, in order to fully understand her mystery, looks to the Christian family, which manifests her in a real way” (Amoris Laetitia, no. 67). In the family, parents teach their children how to pray, how to embrace God’s loving commandments, and how to grow in virtue and holiness. The Christian family that celebrates the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, establishes a reciprocal relationship between the family and the entire Body of Christ that is the Church.

Reflection
Whenever he heard an ambulance siren, he offered a prayer for those involved in the accident or medical emergency. When the family pet passed away, she took care to bury it lovingly in the garden. Their Catholic faith was evident in the artwork on the walls and in the simple prayers offered at table and at bedtime. Sundays were sacred days for church, a big meal, and rest from work in favor of a fun family activity. They celebrated the anniversary of their child’s baptism with ice cream sundaes, and always managed to pull together a group of neighbors for Christmas caroling. Their children saw and treasured these rituals of family life.

To Think About
(Choose one or more of the following questions to reflect on by yourself and/or with your spouse)

  1. What does your family do that brings you together?
  2. What opportunities for passing on your faith are uniquely present in family life (that don’t usually happen at church)?
  3. In your home, identify some reminders of God’s presence. What can you add to or change about your home to increase your awareness of God in your daily life?

Prayer for Married Couples
Almighty and eternal God,
You blessed the union of husband and wife
So that we might reflect the union of Christ with his Church:
look with kindness on us.
Renew our marriage covenant.
Increase your love in us,
and strengthen our bond of peace
so that, [with our children],
we may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Virtual Retreats Homepage